Traits of a Good Head of Household (HoH)

In a Domestic Discipline (DD) relationship, the dominant partner is referred to as the Head of the Household (HoH) and responsible providing for, protecting his family, and leading his family in the right direction to ensure that everyone becomes the best person they can be and that the family has the best life possible. The HoH is also responsible for making all the major decisions for his family, typically with the input of his wife. 

While there is no one right way to be an HoH there are a few traits that must be present in any HoH. Among those traits are: a strong moral character, a good work ethic, the ability and desire to shoulder the responsibility that comes with making decisions, maturity, the ability to lead, and the ability and willingness to protect his family at all costs.

A good HoH, must understand that while he is the one in charge, he must respect and cherish his wife as she is not just his tih, but she also the woman he loves and cannot live without. He must also understand the difference between discipline and abuse. Finally, he must have compassion and understand that neither he nor his wife are perfect and both of them will make mistakes.

While he must instill discipline, he should never relish in it or set his wife to fail just so he has an excuse to discipline her. He should never ignore what is going on around him. Before choosing to discipline his wife, he should give her an opportunity to explain why she broke one of the rules or did not do something she was supposed to do. Life does not exist in a vacuum and there may be legitimate reasons as why she did (or didn’t) do something. Once he has listened to her, it is then up to him to decide whether she should be disciplined and how she should be discipline or whether she has provided an acceptable reason for her actions.

He needs to encourage his wife to strive to be the best she can be, both as a person and as his tih. He should always remind her that he is proud of her and that she makes him happy. A wife whose HoH tells her he is proud of her and is doing a good job, will strive to do more and do it even better. The knowledge that her HoH is proud of her is one of the things that his wife needs and craves, her eyes will light up and she will beam, she will know how much her submission and service are valued and appreciated by her HoH.

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